I’ve been right where you are—stuck in that agonizing phase of deciding whether to stay or go in my marriage. I was careful about who I confided in, afraid that if I shared too much, people would become biased against my husband, making things harder if I chose to stay. Desperate for answers, I turned to Netflix and lost myself in the Lifetime channel, binging those feel-good holiday movies where someone else’s happy ending became my temporary escape—at least until it was time to pick up the kids from soccer practice.

I wish there had been a place, like a support group for women who are stuck in limbo, somewhere like AA, where we could gather, share, and mentor each other. Instead, I felt completely alone, navigating uncharted waters without a guide. I needed someone to talk to, someone who could help me understand my options and what each path might look like.

After years of contemplation, I finally chose divorce. I had been a stay-at-home mom to our four kids for most of those years and was totally naïve when it came to the legal system. I didn’t understand the court process or how little accountability there was with lawyers. No one told me what was legally 50% mine. I had no idea that I could have asked for more, a lot more, but the legal teams made me feel unworthy because I hadn’t contributed financially.

In the end, I walked away with the love of my kids and my retirement fund. The courts? They didn’t fight for me or my children. That’s why I urge you to protect yourself and your kids now—while you’re still in the marriage—by getting a postnuptial agreement. Don’t wait until you’re in the divorce process, because let’s be honest, you’ll never hear a woman going through a divorce say, “My ex was so kind and gave me more than I asked for!”

That’s where I come in. I’m your brutally honest BFF, here to give you straight answers to your toughest questions, saving you a ton of time and emotional turmoil.